27 Penguin Place

There Once was...

2010-04-23T15:21:00.003-04:00

In honour of National Poetry month I give you the first poem I ever wrote. It was an assignment in my fourth grade English class, we were supposed to copy poetry on pretty paper and make a book with the final poem being our own composition. My teacher told us what ending sound we got to use (I got "og") and set out other criteria such as length and subject matter. So here it is folks...

The Dog in the Bog

There once was a dog,
Who tripped over a log
Because of some fog,
And fell into a bog
And met a frog
Whose name was Nog.

Nog liked the dog
Whose name was Pog.
So Pog and Nog,
The dog and frog,
Had tea in the bog.
And the bread did not sog.

The End

Pure GENIUS I tell you! The poem ended there because I had run out of "og" words and I had already cheated and used a couple words twice! I originally had plans for a hog to join their tea party but it just never worked out! As you might be able to tell I had only a vague idea of what a bog was. I remember thinking it was some marshy black squishy ground that you could fall into and where there just might be secret boggy rooms and such.
So go read some poetry (I suggest Whittier) and think deep thoughts since my little poem probably isn't very inspiring! Unless of course you ever get lost in a bog and the thought that you just might trip on a log and end up having a tea party with a very nice frog keeps you going!

2010-04-22T16:14:00.002-04:00

Two years
but someitmes it feels like yesterday
Two years
but sometimes it feels like ten
Two years
My child has been in the prescence of God...
And I wonder, What is she doing right now?

I imagine her singing with the other saints around the throne of God. I see her in my minds eye in a beautiful white robe with flowing blonde hair and blue eyes that are happy. After St. Patrick's Day this year I became incredibly grumpy. My loving husband pointed it out and after some poor excuses I finally said, "These next weeks are when our baby was still with us, it is a hard road for me to walk ."

After that I decided to try not to remember so I woudn't become to grumpy or sad but in my dreams I heard a child's voice beg "Do not forget me mommy" and I would weep. One particularly bad day I wrote this:

Shadows

I walk through shadows
And tears blind my eyes
From the grief of my heart ache
That pain that never dies!

The darkness it would take me
But for You by my side
Draw me close, be my Light
In Your arms let me hide!

As a child I need You Father
To clear my eyes of tears
And bear me through the shadows
Taking my grief and fears.

I know You'll not leave me in darkness
For in shadows there is a Light
It shines from You my Father
And leads me through this night.

Still I tried not to dwell on it, to wrap oneself in misery and wear it around like a cloak is wrong. I pushed thoughts of it away refusing to think to far ahead to that day we found out we lost her.

But it seemed as if God had other plans. People I barely knew or knew very well mentioned it to me and though I tried to not show it inwardly I drew back like I had been slapped. I do not talk about my baby casually, not even to my husband and here were people mentioning her in an offhanded manner. How dare they mention her like that! Didn't they realize my baby died within me? Didn't they know I still cry when I hear her name? Didn't they know the date was coming, the day I looked into a screen and saw nothing?

Of course they didn't know, they had no experience like that to even know at all and I kept those thoughts to myself knowing they did not mean to bring me pain. But I wondered, how long Lord? How long would I hurt for my baby ?

I realized in days since that perhaps I was focusig on the wrong thing when I tried not to dwell on what happened. I was trying not to be sad but not replacing it with anything else. Last night I held my Erik when he woke up crying and I rocked and sang to him, "You are my sunshine" for I have always felt God gave me Erik who is like a happy beam of sunshine to help heal my broken heart.The I thought as Erik made me happy because of his smile and happy attitude perhaps I should think of the things that made me happy about our little one while she was with us. Be grateful and joyful for the time that God gave us, the joy it brought and I wrote this

Thank You Father

Thank you for life, You gave me to bear.

Thank you for dreams, that made the days sweet.

Thank you for love, that was mine to share.

Thank you my Father, for giving all this!

Thank you for joy, that comes from despair.

Thank you for hope, that comforts my soul.

And thank you for You and how much you care!

I have tried to focus on the joy and yes it is tinged with sadness and I still cry but I hope I am growing and am starting to look back with a smile at those 12 weeks of my life. These verses in Job have helped me, "For He wounds, but He binds up; He shatters, but His hand heals". God leads us through our lives and sometimes He breaks us for reasons we don't understand but he doesn't leave us in our brokeness.
Psalm 94:17-19 "If the LORD had not been my help, my soul would soon have lived in silence. When I though' "My foot slips," Your steadfast love, O LORD, held me up. When the cares of my heart are many, Your consolations cheer my soul."

Two years but any moment now I might see her and my Lord Who never leaves me and brings me joy, comfort, and help in everything.

Chasin' Rainbows

2010-04-01T13:03:00.014-04:00

It was a rainbow kind of day...a prism in the kitchen caught the sun and threw rainbows all over the walls. Erik spotted one and chased it into the hallway!Caught it!You need sunshine to make a rainbow...good thing I have a sunshine boy!

A couple days we went outside to enjoy the nice weather. It might look like Erik is chasin' his sisters...

But if you look closely Abby and Katie are drawing rainbows!Sunshine Boy is always full of smiles for mommy!Time to be on the move again!Where will this next chase lead?Another rainbow?No rainbows but sometimes sidewalks can be fascinating and just plain fun to crawl on especially if you get to crawl over chalk pictures! Two happy days that started with a rainbow chase and ended with creating rainbow pants!

Those were pretty good days!

Slower Would be Better!

2010-03-12T10:46:00.012-05:00

It's hard to find time to do everything you want to do. I have at least one hundred things I plan to do everyday, from the necessary like washing dishes, to the fun like taking the kids on a walk, to the just for me like working on a puzzle. But time goes so fast that by the time the kids are in bed sleeping the day is over and most of what I meant to do remains undone. My girls have begun to feel the passing of time and comment at the end of the day whether or not that day had been long or short, usually they conclude it was very short and I agree.How often do we hear or think, "Where did the time go?"

Wasn't it just yesterday that my baby was only 2 weeks old and small enough to be in a bassinet bundled in a receiving blanket?When did he get to be 8 months? Did I fall asleep for a couple months? I think I just blinked and there he was big enough to be sleeping in a crib, sitting up, scooting, and babbling!A few days ago when I was doing school with the girls I found a stash of Christmas projects in the craft bin I had meant to do with them. They had waited for almost 3 months for those particular projects to be on sale at Hobby Lobby and were so excited when they finally were and I had forgotten to let them make them! There just hadn't been enough time!

I have dozens of projects planned for almost everyone I know but there doesn't seem to be enough time to finish the ones I've already started! This year I want to make the girls quilts to fit their big girl beds and Christmas quilts and of course there's Erik's quilt that Joel designed and the original pattern I designed for him as well and...the list goes on and on and there doesn't seem to be enough days in the year to get it all in!

I know in a few years when the kids are older and there are no more diapers to change I'll have more time on my hands. I know that someday they will be gone, busy with their own lives and there will be stretches of weeks, even months when I won't see them and then it'll feel like I have too much time. That thought makes my heart ache and I don't want more time like that. What I want is to only need 4 hours of sleep instead of 8, think of how much I could get done with four extra hours in a day! I don't want to rush through my children's childhood, I just want time to slow down...the days to be longer.

I blinked and Erik is 8 months...if I blink again will he be 5? Just yesterday my little girls were pretending they were ice skaters performing at the Olympics; if I blink twice will Katie be getting married? Will Abby be starting off for college? What can the solution be? Put bricks on their heads and sew my eyes open and use lots of eye drops, or hook myself up to an IV filled with caffinated energy drinks? Probably not! I just need for a minute to hold more than 60 seconds, that's all!

I know there are other women out there who feel this particular pain! We can never do enough to truly satisfy that longing to give our children that beautiful childhood we want too. There are so many things we meant to do to show we love them, to make their days special. We feel the days slipping by, we see our children getting older and our arms ache to hold our babies for a just a little longer. We beg time to slow down so we can live in that moment for as long as our hearts want us to. While we really wouldn't want our babies to remain babies forever we do wish the sweet moments at least would last a little longer.

Motherhood's Time

Slow the sun up in the sky,

So this time won't pass me by!

Take the night and make it long,

So I might sing them one more song.

For time is passing much to fast

And childhood it does not last.

The bud will bloom and birds will fly

And soon my baby will say good bye!
.

Oh time take up your hour glass

And do not let the sand grains pass.

Make this moment last a day

So in my arms my child can stay.

School Days

2010-01-07T14:16:00.006-05:00

Sometimes Katie asks me questions that I wasn't expecting for a couple more years. When she was 3 1/2 due to her questions we discussed in detail the different aspects of heaven, angels, and the Trinity. After that discussing other subjects hasn't really been as complicated but like today it was still kind of hard!

During this quarter of school I decided that it was time for the girls to learn the proper names of the coins and the dollar so they would stop calling them all quarters or as they pronounce it "torters". So I had them get out their piggy banks and pick out a penny, nickle, dime, quarter and a dollar.

They had fun examining them and discussing the ways they were different then after practicing their proper names and how may "pennies" each one equaled I had them glue their money on to a piece of construction paper; except the dollar, we used sticky tac on that because we wouldn't be able to get the dollar off the paper otherwise and in our house a dollar is still a lot of money!

I had them write the amount each piece of money was worth and as Katie was writing she paused, looked up at me and asked, "Why?" Why are they worth that much money mommy and who decided it?" Abby blissfully colored on trying to make the "baby" 'c' with a stick through it.Have you ever tried to explain Fort Knox and the process of how money came to be to a 5 year old? It's pretty great, I think I said "ummmm" about 2 dozen times as I struggled to think of words she would understand. After processing this she examined the dollar closely and said,"Mommy! This looks like it was made with a stamp!" I was very proud of her at that moment since I hadn't explained exactly how they made dollars just that they did. So we discussed in the next few minutes about the huge stamp presses and special paper that they use to make dollars.

She also posed such questions as, "Why is the dime the smallest if its worth more than the penny and nickle?"and "what are they made of" and of course, "Why is the penny the only copper one?" Oh yes and then she asked why the coins from Canada looked different and who decided how they looked and how much they were worth...hmmm...good question!

Bliss

2009-11-23T22:45:00.019-05:00

This is a blog about bliss. For Erik bliss equals someone to smile at! And he shares this bliss with whoever sees him!Such a smile is irresistible!For Katie and Abby bliss equaled a pile of raked leaves on a nice autumn day! Making "leaf angels" is as fun as creating snow ones! Leaf fight! Unfortunately I had to put a stop to throwing leaves since they both started to gag on leaf bits which does not equal bliss!Bliss is getting a beautiful candid of your daughter... too bad my leg is in it!!! Maybe my SPFP who has an awesome photo shop program could fix it for me! :)Even a slightly blurry picture of your offspring can fill your heart with joy! So beautiful!Katie's cup of joy is overflowing with bliss at this point! Happiness is just a pile of leaves away folks! I remember the complete joy of jumping into a pile of crunchy leaves with wild abandon...so simple... no money spent, not much to fix up but the happiness it produces is so great! Waiting for Daddy to come tearing 'round the side of the house to jump into the pile of leaves...resisting the urge to jump before he does...seeing Daddy jump in the leaves and roll around...
then getting to run and jump with him...bliss!
And to cap off a perfect day of bliss Katie found a lady bug! My pretty daughter, how I love to see her lopsided smile! Maybe they'll remember getting presents, maybe they'll remember elaborate birthday parties but I remember the best, warmest memories of my childhood came from simple joys of play; moments that could not be created with money like discovering how leaves feel when your in the middle of them on a beautiful autumn day!

Shepherd

2009-11-13T15:41:00.002-05:00

Novemeber 13th 2008 was my baby's due date. Hard not to think of what might have been. Last night I just wanted to hold my baby, knowing she is in heaven was not enough; for just a moment I gave into the selfish wish to have my baby with me, here, now. Then with tears and a sigh I put away that thought, I wouldn't want to tear my baby away from God's arms, not really. Then there is the paradox of if we had not lost our little Dee we would not have had Erik and he is my sunshine. Some things we cannot understand, how such a blessing can come from sorrow and loss and would not have come without it.

Still I think what my girl would have been like today. One year old, probably petite and blonde like Katie and Abby, with round cheeks and sparkling blue eyes. As I ponder all these things I think of what my Daddy told me when we first lost our baby. One day when I get to heaven there will be my beautiful child with blonde hair and blue eyes running with open arms to hug me. A beautiful thought that brings tears to my eyes but comfort to my heart.

I wrote another short poem to honour my little one and to put into words what I've felt these past few days. Not sure if I'll write a poem every year, not sure if I'll need to but for now I do.

Gentle Saviour full of love

hold my child for me tonight!

Though I'd never want to take her

from Your Heaven's sparkling light;

How my arms still ache to have her

rock her close and hold her tight.

So my own Gentle Saviour

Hold her close and me tonight.

It has gotten easier, most days now I am fine but then today comes and I break down like it happened that day. In those moments I throw myself at my Saviour's feet and beg for comfort. Yesterday the lines from a song came to my heart...

"Saviour like a shepherd lead us, much we need Thy tender care;
In Thy pleasant pastures feed us, For our use Thy folds prepare:
Blessed Jesus, Blessed Jesus, Thou hast bought us, Thine we are;
Blessed Jesus, Blessed Jesus, Though hast bought us Thine we are."

I need His tender care and am so glad that I am His and He has promised to take care of me even when I walk through the valley of shadow and nothing, nothing can separate me from His love! Promises that I wrap myself in to fill the pain and emptiness left by this life! So though I feel sorrow and loss I can say I am blessed; for what is this life and its pain compared with His love enfolding me and His promise of heaven and an eternity of bliss?

Wise Solomon or Foolish Mother?

2009-10-29T15:40:00.006-04:00

Yesterday the girls were playing when a fight broke out over a doll. A year or two ago Joel picked up a couple sets of rag-style dolls cheap at K Mart for the girls. Katie and Abby adore these dolls and divided them up between themselves based on favorite color of dresses, hair, etc...ownership had never come into dispute before. The source of their argument when I intervened before they woke up the napping Erik was this: they couldn't remember whose dolly this was since her dress was a redish kind of purple. Katie was sure it was hers because the dress was almost red but Abby insisted it was her dolly because it had been from the beginning when Daddy had bought them.

I was about to take the dolly away and put it up somewhere for awhile which is usually what I do in such cases, when Katie said she had an idea that would solve the problem and I quote, "Abby, we could have mommy cut the dolly in half and I could have one half and you could have the other! Then we could fix them up and sew on NEW halfs with buttons and things! See Abby?! That would fix it!"

My internal thoughts thought, "Weird. Did Katie hear about that Solomon account where the two mothers brought the baby before him because both claimed to be the mother? It wasn't on any of her Sunday School papers, hmmm...."

I turned to Abby to tell her we weren't going to cut up the dolly but paused when I saw her. She was cuddling the dolly to her chest and her eyes were sad. As I watched she gave it a hard hug, kissed it, and then held it out to Katie. Her voice was soft and sad as she said "Here Katie. You may have my dolly. I do not want her to be cut up!".

That gave me a "wow" moment as you can imagine! It was like the Bible story was unfolding before me and the "mommies" had given me the answer I did not know ,exactly as they were supposed too! Abby the true "mommy" would rather her baby go with Katie and be whole and well then for her to be cut in half and ruined. Amazing!

Katie was about to take the dolly when I swooped in and scooped up Abby in my arms for a big hug. As my roll had turned into Solomon's I declared that Abby may have the dolly since she proved she was the true owner by her response to Katie's suggestion. Katie looked confused for a moment then shrugged and went off to play with something else. Abby hugged her dolly tightly and said quietly, "Thank you mommy! I did not want her to be cut up because I do love my dolly so much!"

I had to blink back tears (as I am now) as I gave her another hug and put her down to go play. I am always amazed by the things my girls do and this small moment in their lives that reflected the Bible account of the wise Solomon made me smile. Did Katie hear the story and decide to put it to good use thinking somehow she would get the doll in the end or did she truly think that her suggestion was a fair one that would solve the problem? All I know is that Abby's tender little heart wouldn't allow her to hurt someone else (okay the dolly isn't a real person but still...) when a little self sacrifice could save them!

I'm not sure what this story says about Katie though...wise as Solomon...foolish as the mother? Good manipulator or good problem solver? Hmmmmm...Well, then again they are only 5 and 3, maybe it doesn't mean much at all except to say that little people can surprise us at every turn with their funny ideas and unexpected maturity!

Now if you'll excuse me, I think I have to go hug Abby again!

PJ Party!

2009-10-23T11:02:00.010-04:00

This morning I decided to try and get a picture of the kiddos in their footy pj's because they are just so cute in them! It's really hard to get three children to sit still and smile at the camera! I didn't get any "perfect" pictures but here are some that were cute!

I love this picture! Erik sticking out his tongue makes me laugh!

This picture would have been perfect if Katie DIDN'T HAVE HER HAND IN HER FACE!!!

This one is pretty nice though the girls have crazy hair!

Abby and Erik looked so nice in that picture where Katie put her hand over her face that I just photo shopped her out! :) So there are my cuties all warm and comfy in their pj's!

A Touch of Love

2009-10-16T13:46:00.012-04:00

Today (October 16) as I went around making the beds I got thoughtful. I've pulled out the quilts since the weather has turned cold and looking at them (besides making me feel like taking a nap) made feel all cozy, warm, and sentimental. One time when I was teaching a friend of mine how to quilt a gal came in, looked at all the stuff spread everywhere and said, "I just don't get quilting! Why would you take a perfectly good piece of fabric, cut it up only to sew it back together again?" I've thought about that question since, I mean really, why would you do that? The time of women saving the not-so-worn bits from worn out shirts and dresses to piece together a quilt so as not to waste a single scrap of anything has past. Most of us can go to Wal Mart and pick up a blanket cheap (I won't go into my rant about the quality of said Wal Mart "Quilts" though I must say the workmanship stinks!) and aren't stuck out in the middle of no where with no stores or money.

After much pondering I think I've finally come up with an answer. Sure it might seem pointless to cut up fabric and put it back together even if it does make pretty patterns but that's not really what quilting is; at least not to me.

I quilt sure, because like most people who do I enjoy the beauty of the fabric, the orderliness of the pattern, the pleasure of creating but that's not really why I do it. The reason, I've come to realize is Love.

I can't always be with the ones I love. I would love nothing more than to hold my little ones all night long but I can't. So in place of me I put a quilt I made especially for them, a touch of my love to warm them through the night, to comfort them when they don't feel good, to remind them of the person who loves them more than words can express.

This is also why I don't like making quilts for money, I'll do it but its not the same when its going to a stranger, I find I don't even enjoy the process as much because it doesn't have the same meaning.

I like to consider the personality of the person I'm making the quilt for. For Joel I made it as manly as possible and Incorporated lots of moose. For Katie of course there's always a lady bug somewhere and for Abby something round and happy.

I also like designing quilts and for each child I made a special block just for them. I tried to incorporate their personalities, something that would make me smile and think, "Yes, that's definitely that child!" I haven't made any for our kids yet, save one, I plan to wait until they are in their "big kid" beds before I do (SO Katie and Abby will be getting theirs in the near future). I did design and make my lovely niece one when she was born which was very, very fun!

The one I have made is just a block but then my baby will never have "big kid" bed so there is no reason to wait. After we lost our baby I felt so much sorrow; more than I thought I could ever bear. But that pain could never diminish the love I felt for our tiny baby who I could never hold or wrap up in a quilt during a cold winter's night. I wanted to design a block to express the joy of having our baby no matter what the circumstances, to try and bring across to the viewer the splendour of God's love and the glory of the place where my little one went. I call it "Joy and Glory" and I made it with all the love in my heart. Though it will never touch my baby I can hold it and somehow it comforts me and I feel God's love for me and for my baby.

So just a peak into my thoughts today and if you happen to have a quilt made by me, little, big, or in between what I'm really trying to say is ... I love you!

What I'd Rather be Doing...

2009-09-22T12:12:00.002-04:00

What I am doing: laundry

What I'd rather be doing: sleeping

Why: Because while sleep would be blissful there is no magic laundry fairy that comes during nap to wash, dry, fold, and put away the piles of dirty laundry lurking around my house...not even when I'm sick! Stupid fairies that don't exist! Why can't you be real? Why? WHY?!

What I will be doing: planning out what I will teach the girls in school next week

What I'd rather be doing: Sleeping!

Why: Because while sleep would most certainly make me feel better I have undertaken a serious and real responsibility to educate my children and there is no lesson plan fairy that comes during nap and writes out what to teach in bright, pretty colors! Again, why aren't you real oh fairies of wonder?!

What I will be doing: Unpacking

What I'd rather be doing: SLEEPING!!! (do you detect the pattern here?)

Why: Because I am tired of tripping over half unpacked boxes and not being able to find my horde of crochet hooks and hearing my husband go around mumbling about how he can't find the charger cord for his razor or his favorite shirt which he really, really wanted to wear! Oh and because there is no magic unpacking fairy that comes while you nap to unpack and organize your stuff!

What I will be doing: Cuddling my baby and reading to my girls before tucking them into bed with hugs and kisses! Listening to my girls prayers where they confide in God all their little plans for the next day and dreams for their future days!

What I'd rather be doing: Nothing else in the whole world!

Why: Because even though they are a handfuls that make me sleep deprived and frazzled they are my babies and I love them! AND I am glad there are no magic take-care-of-your-kids fairy that comes during nap to do all the things that make motherhood wonderful! (Author's note:Laundry does not make motherhood wonderful so I'm open to the whole laundry fairy thing!)

THE END!

No Oops III!

2009-08-19T18:34:00.002-04:00

Success! For the last three nights Erik has kept down formula! Yay! After the last formula fiasco I remembered that Carnation made formula with "comfort proteins" which turned out to mean that it was broken down so babies who had a hard time digesting formula would not have a problem. I was still hesitant to buy any, formula is expensive and it made his tummy so upset but decided to give it a whirl since I was barely making enough milk to satisfy the boy.

The first night he had a bottle at 9:30 with 2 oz formula and 4 oz breast milk. He drank 5 1/2 oz and fell asleep at about 10:30. I went to bed at 11:30 but didn't get to sleep right away, I kept listening for the sound of spitting up. Eventually I nodded off and didn't wake up til about 4 which is his usual 2nd bottle time but he was sound asleep so I went back to bed. Well, he stayed asleep until 6:30 and didn't spit up at all, not even a little bit! I was happy but cautious, I wanted to wait until he had had it a couple times before doing the happy dance of joy.

The second night he had the same mix of bottle and fell asleep about the same time. He slept soundly (so did I!) until 5:30 had another bottle (no formula) and went back to sleep until 9:30. I was ecstatic! I had gotten a total of 8 hours of sleep! I was so awake and perky I didn't know what to do with myself!

Last night he had the mixed bottle again but then did his naughty trick of being wide awake til just after midnight. I stumbled into bed at 12:30ish with a splitting headache and couldn't get into a good sleep. Erik waited until 6 for his next bottle (formula and mommy milk again) and I went back to bed after he had fallen back asleep but my head still ached terribly. I awoke at 9:30 with my head pounding but no baby crying. Erik was snoring blissfully away, he had kept his milk down after two servings of formula! Yay! If my head didn't hurt so much I would be doing the happy dance right now!

Now that the pressure is off from being the only source of food for my son I'm making lots more milk :) which Joel rolls his eyes at. Stress makes mommies dry up though as many new mommies can attest too but he still says I'm silly for being such a worry wort. Of course he's right, I do tend to worry; like daddy like daughter I guess! So now besides my headache which has managed to survive Tylenol, Motrin, 2 mountain dews, and a cup of coffee I am a very happy milk-producing mommy who is looking forward to the idea of at least 6 straight hours of glorious sleep! Thank you Carnation and the beauty of comfort proteins!

Spotted Abby

2009-08-10T10:29:00.003-04:00

Sunday morning Abby woke up with a dozen or so red spots on her arms, legs, hands, and face. around the red spots there was a faint white ring. After investigating her bed to make sure there were no spiders and since they didn't look at all like chicken pox, measles or any of those childhood rashes we decided it must be some sort of reaction to something she ate or had been exposed to. I dabbed some benydril on them and we raced to church.

This morning she has a half dozen new spots and most of the old ones have gotten bigger. We've racked our brains to see what new thing she had been exposed to and remembered Friday and Saturday we decided to let her try yogurt since lactose intolerant people can generally handle yogurt. There has been nothing else new she's had or been exposed to that we know of. Soooooo long story short it appears our Abby might have an actual milk allergy instead of just intolerance.

Now comes the fun-fun stage of testing our theory which includes waiting for the hives to clear up, giving her a big dose of yogurt, and seeing what happens. Milk allergies are stinkers in that they don't necessarily show up in allergy testing, blood or skin, so its generally determined by exposure. Yay us!

As soon as we get insurance (we're waiting while they go over our paper work) we're going to take her in to talk to the doctor about our findings just to be sure. Sometimes hives just happen for no reason that can be determined and it could be just some fluke thing that floated by and made her break out. Hopefully time and testing will tell!

The Days of Great Burning and Spillage!

2009-08-08T14:24:00.003-04:00

The past few days have been a little crazy here in Karen-land. It started out with Fish sticks. I know, weird intro but it really did. As I was dishing out fish sticks for dinner proud of myself for fixing a main dish, veggie, and starchy side I knocked the baking sheet against the inside of my forearm. It hurt but I do that all the time so I didn't think much of it. I ran it under cold water for a minute and sat down to eat. It kept hurting though past my normal burnt arm time and it got worse but I ignored because there was Mommy stuff to be done. At bedtime, I was horrified to see that the faint red mark had turned into a 2 inch blistered oval-yikes! I guess my other scars were lonely and wanted company or something. That was the first burn incident.

Around 4 o'clock in the morning when I stumbled out of bed to feed my son I heard loud thumping noises coming from the porch which could only mean one thing-raccoons! The house we are currently staying in is in the country and the coons love to come out at night and frisk about in our garbage. We have a "locking" (ha!) lid on our trash can and I think they take that as a personal challenge. Now Joel had already chased away these raccoons right before bed by deluging the big one with left over warm water used to heat Erik's bottle but the big one had returned, I could tell because he was still pretty wet! I chased them away, fed my son, and went back to bed. As I curled up to go to sleep I heard the thumping again but figured it just wasn't worth it, as I was warm, comfy, and half asleep.

The next morning I peaked out on the porch to see what damage the coons had done. When I saw the carnage I actually screamed, I really didn't think two raccoons could do so much damage! Our lovely "locking" trash can was tipped down the stairs and garbage was spilled across the steps and yard. I had left small garbage cans half filled with bleach soaking on the porch and they had spilled those too. The splatters of bleached wood made it look like some violent crime had been committed on our front porch! I figured the only way to salvage the porch was to try and bleach the rest of it too, it looked that bad! That was spill incident #1.

So I got dressed, dumped the rest of the bleach on the porch (which is by the way about 15 ft x 5ft) and swept it around with a broom. I didn't have enough bleach to do the whole porch however so it still looked pretty bad (in case anyone is worried about the state of our porch we got more bleach last night and I finished the porch this morning !). I cleaned up the garbage and then filled the small trash cans with pipping hot water to rinse off the bleach. As I heaved the extremely hot water on the porch I realized I had made a painful mistake, the water crashed against the porch wall and came hurtling back toward me and my bare feet. As I hopped around squealing Joel pocked his head out the door to laugh at me, naughty man! That was burn incident #2

Now for burn #3 and spill incident #2! I decided after all the hard work of cleaning the raccoons mess up I deserved a break. I fixed myself a nice hot cup of coffee (can you see where this is going?) and grabbed a cereal bar. As soon as I got settled into the big blue chair that is not ours one of the girls called me so I hastily placed the mug and bar on the upholstered arm of the big chair and went to help. After I solved the girls dilemma of whose crayon box was whose I went back to the chair and threw myself in it, then I remembered my coffee but it was to late! I heard it go splashing down the side of the chair and cringed, however I didn't feel any pain and my thoughts went like this, "Oh! Well, I was expecting that too hurt really bad, after all that coffee was really- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!"

Yep, you guessed it, I took out the chair that is not ours and my backside. When Joel, who had come to my aide, realized I had managed to not burn any part of me except my behind he burst out into very helpful laughter. Thank you dear, your constant amusement at my self inflicted injuries is very uplifting! :)

That night grandma invited us over for pizza dinner so I decided to shower to make myself presentable (I smelt vaguely of coffee and bleach). After my shower I dried my hair and decided to curl my bangs and so came about burn #4 which is not quite as bad as burn #1 but worse than burn #2 or#3. And yes Joel laughed, a lot.

As I type this I kid you not, I just heard Katie's pipping voice announce that Abby has spilled the trash can that caught the water from the leak in the ceiling, in her room, on the carpet, where we walk. Now you must excuse me while I go clean up spill #4 which will hopefully end the horror of the days of great burning and spillage!

Oops II

2009-08-01T08:59:00.007-04:00

First as before, here are some cute pictures of the girls with Erik. We did a special photo shoot so Joel could have a picture of them to go on his debit card. The credit union is experimenting and offered to put any picture we wanted on a card for free so we said sure, free is always good!

Here they are giving the boy some smooches! :)

Now for oops II. Erik was back to his normal self so I decided to give the sensitive formula a whirl. I'll just give you the tally of things he took out with his amazing urping ability: 7 burpcloths, 2 onesies, 3 blankets, two nightgowns (mine!), 1 pillow (also mine!) the couch, himself, and me. Sigh! Good thing he's so cute!

Oops

2009-07-27T12:11:00.006-04:00

First here's some cute pictures of the girls holding Erik. Abby especially likes to hold him and make sure all his needs are met. If Erik starts to fuss Abby immediately gets his binky, blankie, and tries her best to bundle him up with binky in mouth! Super cute!Now for the oops. I'm nursing Erik but as he is the slowest nurser on earth I switched to pumping and giving him a bottle to speed things up. Well, the greedy little guy is eating more than either of the girls and I started to fall behind on milk production. So I decided to make his night time bottles stretch by doing 2 ounces formula with 3 ounces of my milk. So late Saturday night he had his first bottle, he didn't seem to like it as much but he got down 4 ounces. Second feeding came early Sunday morning where he seemed to have a lot of gas and did not want his bottle but he drank 2 ounces. I was a little worried but thought maybe the mixed milk was a lot more filling. Then his right-before-church bottle came along. He drank 3 ounces and when I handed him to Joel so I could get the girls dressed he promptly urped it all up all over Joel and Joel's comfy chair.

We made it to church though Erik was very grouchy and kept spitting up. I coaxed an ounce down him during the service but he urped it up as soon as we got home. Then came the day of him drinking small amounts of milk and urping it up all over his outfits and Joel. Somehow poor Joel was always the one holding him when Erik decided to empty his tummy. Poor Daddy!

Sooooo...after lots of coaxing, back pats, changes of outfits and cuddles Erik is starting to act normal again. He isn't up to his normal milk consumption yet but he's half way there and hasn't urped anything for the last two feedings. We're praying that he isn't going to lactose intolerant like Abby but even she didn't have that strong of a reaction to formulas when I tried to give her some. For right now I'm making enough milk (sorry if this TMI for some of you!) since he isn't drinking as much now but if I fall behind again we'll have the fun task of going through the "sensitive" formulas to see if he can keep those down.

Other than that things are going well out here. The girls are enjoying having their own rooms and Joel and I are enjoying that they don't keep each other awake at night anymore! The girls have already made "best friends" at church with other little girls their age and Katie has a devoted admirer who loves to stand by her and just gaze upon her beauty! I had a hard not laughing when he came up beside us and was just happy to look at Katie. She glanced at him a couple times as if she was trying to figure out what in the world he was doing and then she fell to staring at him. Ah young love! :)

Baby Erik

2009-07-24T18:17:00.013-04:00

Here is my long over due blog entry announcing the birth of my son Erik Benjamin Mitchell! Isn't he sweet?! He was very pretty because he didn't have to get all sqished on the way out. Notice the lack of cone head! While Erik was getting cleaned up, measured, and weighed I was stuck under the blue tent getting sewn back together. Erik turned breach a day or two before I went in to have him so I had to have a C-section. All I have to say about that is NOT FUN! Women who choose to have a C-section because they think it will be easier are CRAZY! Sure there's no pain beside the numbing stuff they put in your spine but the aftermath is horrific! Plus little Erik was naughty and swam away from the doctors so they had to cut a "T" into my uterus to get to him making it impossible for me to deliver naturally... way to go Erik! :)

So as not to scare anyone who someday might have to get a C-section I will say my experience was a bit more nasty than usual because I am very sensitive to strong medications so for the next 6 hours or so I shook, threw up, was freezing cold but also sweating. Joel said they put an inflatable blanket thing on me that was filled with warm air...I have no memory of this. Here I am finally able to hold Erik after my shaking subsided. I had to wait 6 hours to hold him which was terrible but I was reassured whenever I swam up through the drug induced fog to see Joel holding him and on one occasion giving him a bottle. Joel told me I talked to my Dad during my out-of-it time but I really have no memory of that either...sorry Dad!The next day Joel's parents brought the girls by. They had been by the night before to see us but I was still so out of it that they saw Erik in the entryway behind the curtain so they wouldn't be traumatized by a shaking half-comatose mommy. The girls loved seeing Erik and didn't want to leave his side!I pumped some milk so Joel could give Erik a bottle before he went home to be with the girls. Aren't they sweet?!Aren't I a pretty pretty princess? The hospital food was gross, even for hospital food and I had a mouthful of it there...ick! I was ravenous because they had me on a liquid diet a full 24 hours more than they were supposed to (apparently the day nurse did not get that memo and I was stuck with juice and watery sherbet...yuck!) and all there was to eat was swill! Well, the spice cake was good but besides that it was swill!Here he is all ready to go home! I had him on Sunday and they kicked me out noon on Wednesday! I was happy to be going home, (I cannot sleep in hospitals!) but a bit alarmed at how fast they showed me the door...I suspect my insurance had something to do with it!

My little guy weighed 7lbs 12 oz and was 18 1/2 inches long and was born June 14th at 12:22 pm. He has since grown like a weed and is very good boy who sleeps six hours straight at night! I must go for now...more pictures will be forthcoming but my son needs to eat!

Baby Doctor

2009-05-12T10:35:00.003-04:00

Today was my "Baby Doctor" appointment and I'm pleased to report that I am 1 cm dilated! I'm not ready to go the hospital or anything but I didn't dilate with the girls at all until at least the 37th week so I'm two weeks ahead of schedule! Yay! I had my final ultrasound last Thursday and the baby weighed approximately 5 lbs 8 oz, so he's on target to be about 8 lbs if he's born on time which is bigger than both the girls (of course that wouldn't be too hard of a challenge!). My OB chatted pleasantly about when he would induce me if I didn't go by myself (I haven't yet!) and the very nice man said he could deliver on my due date no problem or even a week early if I wanted too, I think I love him!

Since the baby is bigger than the girls and very, very active my OB has high hopes that I will go early all by myself. Apparently wiggly babies can break their water better than laid back babies and this baby is way more active than either of the girls! Katie liked to try and stand up in my womb and Abby packed a good punch but this little guy is all over the place kicking, punching, rolling, and sticking his feet up into my ribs and stomach. I only had a touch of heartburn with Katie and hardly any with Abby but with this guy I'm popping Tums every night to keep the acid down! At least all that extra calcium is healthy!

So, even though I'll still probably have to wait til my due date it is exciting to think the process has begun and I'm in the final phase of pregnancy! Yay! Soon I'll have a little bundle of joy to cuddle and moon over! The girls are very excited too and literally jump up and down with excitement since we've passed Mother's Day which was the last "big day" marker ( since Thanksgiving we've had a list of holidays to check off before the baby could come to help Katie and Abby grasp how much time would pass) until the baby's due date.

One of the awkward results of having two inquisitive little ones is the fact that they are well informed about pregnancy (at least most parts of it!) due to their endless questions and are willing to share information about it with perfect strangers. We went to Outback steakhouse for Mother's Day (yummy yummy Bloomin' Onion!) and while we were waiting for our table Abby shared everything she knew about pregnancy and birth with the nice lady who sat beside us. She included the last step with big eyes and sweeping hand motions of how the baby was "going to come out of mommy's pee-pee!" which fortunately the lady thought was cute and endearing! Gotta love little kids frank honesty and lack of embarrassment! I'll share more about Mother's Day later but for now I have to scamper and clean some more! I think I'm into the nesting phase, yesterday I scrubbed out the fridge, the girls coloring table, and the walls around their coloring table and still felt twitchy because there were just so many more surfaces to scrub! :)

First Moments

2009-04-22T16:11:00.006-04:00

A year ago today we lost our baby. It is a day I could not forget, a moment of sorrow I will always remember, that moment we were told our baby was gone. I do not like to talk to people about emotional things that will make me cry, (ask my husband, he has to practically twist my arm to get me talk when I am deeply troubled about something) even on this blog where there is some ambiguity I find it hard to express deeper emotions.

Since I was a little girl I have written poetry and when my baby died I wrote a poem and published it on this blog as my way of expressing a part of what I felt that day. Today I wrote another poem trying to capture some of my thoughts about things I wondered about my baby when she was first ushered into God's presence. I only had about an hour to work on it while the girls watched a movie and had multiple interruptions due to my little ones thirst or other small things of that nature so its a bit rough. The first two stanzas don't rhyme and I didn't fully develop the theme I was going for; perhaps I'll polish it up one day but for now I suppose it will do.

First Moments

What was it like when you took your first breath
Not here, but in heaven?

What did you see when you first opened your eyes
Not here, but in heaven?

These things I wonder on this side of death
where I never saw your face or heard your first breath.

I thought you were there, growing inside me
When really you were gone where I couldn't see.

Your very first moments I did not hear, could not see
My arms never held you, your first sight was not of me.

But God saw each moment, He planned them for you
First breath, first sight, all the firsts you would do.

And one day when I pass through heaven's pearl gate
I will no longer need to wonder, no longer to wait

I will see you running, running toward me
I'll know your face, hear your breath and I finally will be

There for a moment, one that is new
The first time your mother's arms ever held you.

Catch Up

2009-04-06T11:17:00.001-04:00

I've been neglecting my blogs lately but I do have a good reason for those of you who actually read my blogs,like them, and care: I fell on my bottom. :) I was going to do a really long explanation of the traumatic experience but my backside hurts too much to sit and type for that long! So I'll sum up...2 weeks ago the girls left a book on the stairs. Early that Sunday morning (around midnight) I hurried down the stairs to use the bathroom and did not see the book but my foot made up for my blindness by being kind enough to find it. I went flying and landed with a terrific crash then bumped down a couple stairs just for fun I guess. Poor Joel came running thinking I had broken my leg and I thought I had broken my bottom, the whole thing! It always amazes how much falling on your bottom on stairs hurts...if you recall I fell on our porch stairs a year ago and got a very impressive painful bruise but that bruise was higher up almost my lower back, this owie was squarely on my tailbone area.

We went in to the maternity ward at the hospital Monday morning after I called my OBGYN nurse who scolded me for not going in right away, apparently falling on your bottom is considered a :trauma" when you're pregnant. I got hooked up to the baby monitor which records the baby's heartbeat and movement and Joel took the girls back home until he could locate a sitter. The nurse informed me that I would be there at 4 hours for observation. They knew that the baby and my uterus were perfectly fine about 5 minutes after I got hooked up but I still had to stay for the whole 4 hours...grrrrrrrr! The worst part was that I had to lie on my back which meant I was on my poor sore bottom the whole time!

Joel got back after about 2 hours just as I was getting my lunch which had originally gone to the wrong lady who was also being monitored who wasn't supposed t0 eat because they were considering inducing her. I was very cranky at this point and when I finally did get my lunch I was very upset that they had forgotten my roll ( I LOVE rolls!) especially when I saw that the lady who had gotten my original tray had one and she hadn't even eaten it!!! I didn't say anything though (well, I did to Joel who just laughed at me) because I didn't want to get a roll garnished with spit or something.

So after 4 bottom-wrenching hours I was finally released. We picked up the girls and swung by Starbucks for a treat. There was a McDonald's in the parking lot next to Starbucks so I also got french fries and an ice cream cone; my husband is very nice too me! We got home just before 5 all exhausted but Joel was happy he at least got to skip an entire day of work, except for the pay part. :)Since my flight down the stairs I've discovered exactly how much is connected to your tailbone and how painful a bruised one is! I'm getting better now but I can't even stand without it hurting, or walk , or sit, or sleep really! Last night though when I layed on my left side my bottom did not hurt for an entire hour! I wanted to do a happy dance but that would have brought tears to my eyes so I just smiled into the darkness and patted Joel who mumbled something about not snoring and continued to snore softly as he slept. :) My husband is cute!

So, I haven't been blogging becasue I can't sit for more than 5 minutes without having to get up and walk around a little to ease the pain. This morning I decided to grit my teeth and type as fast as I could since I know there are people out there who worry about me when I don't have any contact with the outside world! oh, on a side note...Joel got me one of those inflatable doughnuts to sit on which works pretty well. Katie and Abby are fascinated by it and I've caught Katie wearing it on her head like a tiara and sitting on it to read her books; silly girl! :)

Valentines Day

2009-02-17T11:33:00.013-05:00

Valentines Day this year was fun and busy! We managed to snag a sitter (we actually had to share a sitter but the girls got to go over to Baby Chase's house so they were happy!) and made plans to go to Olive Garden for a relaxing dinner of never ending salad bowl. Joel had the entire day off work so we tried to sleep in a little but the neighbours had other things in mind and woke us all up at the normal time. So we tumbled downstairs in a sleepy but exited tumble to see what presents we had received.

Now in our family its our tradition to give each other a little something for Valentines Day mostly because its my second favorite holiday and I love giving presents to my husband and little ones! Abby got 2 monkeys, one form us and one from Katie and Katie Rose got a very pink pony from us and a bear with a pink rose (her current favorite flower) from Abby. As usual Abby would not smile for the camera but she did do her 'monkey face' and in the second picture they decided there was a monster on their bed and needed to scream! Here's a shot of Katie cuddling her pony which she named "Red Heart" while she sleeps! Abby finally gave me a big smile and even though her monkeys aren't really in it I thought it was a pretty cute shot! Joel got me a dvd of "Casablanca" one of my all-time favorite movies! We weren't able to watch it that night which was what Joel had planned but we did watch it the next night. That is such a good movie! I was particularly pleased with the gift I had found for Joel this year. After months of not being able to decided what to get I came upon the big idea which I must admit was not my own. My dear Sister Puppy Fairy Princess In-Law had gotten my brother a classic Nintendo for Christmas and since he loved it so much and his taste is a lot like my husbands I decided I would try and get one! So I surfed around on Ebay until I found an unit that seemed cheap enough to be affordable but cost enough to atctually work...bonus was it came with a storage case and 3 games including the original Super Mario Brother's game and Duck Hunt! Joel was very excited when he opened his eyes and saw it! He plugged it in right away and we had a nice walk down memory lane as we remembered the silly things we use to do with the game or where the special treats were. The girls didn't quite get the point of it all but Katie decided she liked it after we told her the point of the game was to rescue the princess at the end!

Around noon we decided to take the girls out for a special Valentines lunch at Panera Bread, which the girls love to eat at as much as we do! Since it was Valentines day they got to take their presents in with them, normally we do not allow any stuffed animals or toys in any shops or restaurants. Sadly, Abby forgot her monkeys in the van so Daddy became super Daddy and went out and fetched them for her while we stood in line.

After feasting there we decided to go to a couple other shops and then trek out to Wilkes Barre to the Eddie Bower outlet and Barnes and Noble book store. Joel found a nice laptop holder/briefcase/satchel thing and I enjoyed looking at around at all the nice clothes I could not fit into for at least another five months!

We came back home and Abby had a nap while we watched a movie and then it was time to go on our date! Yay! We dropped the girls off and then it was off to Olive Garden! After being cut off by a very rude lady who stole our parking spot we finally found another parking spot and hurried into the restaurant with dreams of Caesar salad dancing in our heads.

We had a to wait a few minutes in line to get our names on the seating list and found out the wait was 80-90 minutes. We just shrugged and smiled, we had no children with us and we were together so what was an hour-and-a-half wait? After ten minutes of standing I felt like I was going to pass out but fortunately at that moment the couch opened up and I pounced on it. The next hour passed relatively fast while Joel and I had fun "people watching", chit-chatting about general stuff, and gazing affectionately into each other's eyes! :)

Exactly 85 minutes went by before we were shown to our table and then the feasting began! I love Olive Garden's Caesar salad, it is sooooooo yummy! Joel had some shrimp dish and I had a chicken three cheese gnocchi dish that was veeeeery yummy! Because we had no children to order for we got an appetizer and separate drinks, amazing! It was weird eating out and not having to chase crayons, draw Val, cut up food, and mop up spills! My food was actually hot when I started to eat! We had a really nice time and the girls had fun at their little friends house too so the night was a success!

Joel had Monday off so it was a true 3-day weekend for him and we spent most of it playing the Nintendo or bargain shopping. My skills have vastly improved since my first go at Mario where I died in level 2! This morning while taking a chore break I actually beat the game, which is something I've only done once before! My approach to the hard levels is to run screaming through them until I die or reach the end, this time I reached the end! Katie jumped up and down and clapped when she saw the princess and even Abby got excited!

So we had nice relaxing fun weekend, the only thing bad about it was the baby deciding he needed to reinstate mommy's morning sickness that had finally disappeared a few days before. What a nice Valentines Day gift from my son...hugging the porcelain thrown while hurling my breakfast in as my hubby puts "hideous sounding ways", gotta love being pregnant!

A Bouncing Baby...

2009-02-04T10:37:00.005-05:00

Warning...this entry tells the gender of our baby so if you want to be surprised read no further!!!

Yesterday afternoon I had an ultrasound...Our baby really was bouncy, wouldn't stay still long enough for the poor tech to take pictures and get measurements so we were there quite awhile. Katie's eyes were glued to the monitor for the first twenty minutes and then she commented that it was taking "such a long time!" and started to get a tad bit impatient. Abby was interested for a few minutes and then grew more concerned about the cup of water she had left out in the waiting room and mentioned it every few minutes. Both girls got a print out of the picture above which they studied and kept close to them at all times!

Eventually the poor man did get the information he needed and then it was time to see if we could find out whether we needed more pink in our house or blue! The baby was feisty and kept moving and kicking and punching, at one point we saw Baby Pumpkin wiggle his/her little baby fingers! Then, when we were about to give up hope the baby decided to give up and gave us a full frontal flash! Triumphant, the tech announced that the baby was a ... boy!

At first Katie was disappointed and cried a little because she wanted the baby to be a girl. On the way home she cheered up when I told her she could pick whatever boy thing she wanted for the baby, she decided on a "baby soccer ball"! Abby was a tiny bit upset to find out the baby was a boy but she shrugged it off pretty fast and got excited about finding a binky for the baby. Joel and I are of course very excited! After Joel got off work we raced to the mall for a celebratory dinner and small baby boy shopping spree. We found a couple of cute outfits (on sale!) and Joel decided our general theme for the boy would be doggies. I had a ladies meeting at church to go to and then when that was over we drove out to Target to register because I (and perhaps Joel) was too excited to wait another night! The girls had a blast picking out things for the baby! We had forgotten how many things a baby needs but it was fun to look at all the stuff and pick out boyish patterns! Joel found a super cute bull dog stuffed animal which we bought as the baby's first official toy!

Sadly, Katie did not find the baby soccer ball and the binky section at Target was decimated so I guess we have to go shopping again this weekend! Oh no! :)

So let the invasion of blues and greens in our house begin!

Happy Mozart's Birthday!

2009-01-27T10:47:00.004-05:00

Today is Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart's Birthday! Yay! As many as you know he is my all time

favorite composer! As I write this I hear the soft strains of his music coming from my girls room. Katie can work her CD player quite well and the CD she picks to listen to most of the time is "The Mozart Effect; Mozart for moms or moms-to-be". It's also the CD I've played for them as they go to sleep each night since Katie was born (with the exception of a CD 'Mozart for Relaxation' and a Christmas CD for the month of December). So here's a quick salute to Mozart!

Last night we were watching some tv and munching on some gummy bears when there was a reference to Mozart's work. I'm not sure how many people would have recognized the nod but it made me bounce up and down and exclaim happily! So here's the reference- the whole episode was about this guy trying to find the restaurant that made the 'perfect burger' that he had eaten the when he had first moved to NY eight years before. So finally his friends get fed up with him moaning about it and start out on a quest to find this burger shop.

At one point they think they've found the place but he takes a bite and says "No" and then he goes into this explanation about how wonderful this burger is and as he starts in I comment how much it sounds like Salieri in the movie "Amadeus" as he describes a particular piece of music Mozart had composed Serenade for Winds, K. 361(this happens to be my almost favorite piece of Mozart's work). Then that exact piece of music starts playing in the background and his speech is unmistakably Salieri's just with burger vocabulary stuck in in place of music! It made me laugh so hard!

Anyway... Here's to Mozart-a crazy (literally), happy drunk who somehow managed to write the world's most beautiful music that has endured through the ages! Well, God does use the

foolish things of this world to astound the wise!

Confessions of a Tired Mommy

2009-01-21T14:18:00.011-05:00

I am tired. Do you know what mommies do when they are tired? Well, I'll tell you what this mommy doesn't get to do-nap. The whole "Nap when baby/child naps" never flies at our house, does it in any home anywhere really? This is the #1 advice I've gotten on how to survive mommyhood and now I want everyone who ever told me that to come to my house. When they arrive I'll point them in the direction of my children and dishes, run up the stairs, slam my bedroom door shut, lock it, and then bury myself in blankets until I don't feel tired anymore which could quite possibly not be for another 18 years.

Of course most of the reason I never nap is because of my brilliant, tireless Katie Rose. That petite little angel stopped napping around the time she turned 2. A month or two before the big 2 she only napped every other day, then it was every two days and then by the big day she decided she would just skip the next 3-5 years and go right to no napping.

Now before any of you get alarmed Katie goes to bed at 8:00 pm and generally wakes up between 8-9 am so she gets plenty of sleep at night. I can make her lie down during the day but it is not worth 2 hour battle for maybe, maybe a ten minute snooze and then we have miss cranky pants for the rest of the night followed by 2-3 hours of laying in bed keeping sissy up.

So anyway, mommy had a hard night last night. I had disturbing dreams all night (I've told 2 people who was featured in them and they both agreed it was horrifying!) couldn't get back to sleep for almost an hour after having to go potty for like the 10th time that night and then the neighbours woke me up at 7, sigh!

I tell you all that so I could get to this...what happens when mommy is tired! After dragging myself out of bed five seconds after I got back in it after seeing my hubby out the door to work I escorted our afore mentioned non-napper downstairs for breakfast. When tired Breakfast = living room picnic in front of an episode of Curious George while mommy makes coffee and splashes cold water in her face.

After eating (what did I eat? I think maybe it had something to do with oranges...hmmmm) I get small one #2 out of bed and give breakfast to except now George is over so I break my own rule and let the children play with Katie's alphabet snowmen that are for school time only which I had meticulously cut out, colored, laminated, and cut out again the night before. We now have 3" snowmen scattered all over our living room.

I really don't have much memory what happens in the next hour or two, I know I did two loads of laundry at some point and I washed a sink full of dishes. Well, at least I was productive! For lunch I made peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and bananas and we had another picnic in front of "Martha Speaks" and "Word World" and I battled with mommy guilt for allowing so much tv as I fixed myself a much yummier ham, cheese, and pickle sandwich.

As soon as I sit down the girls decide they do no want banana's, they want fruit snacks and I who am more interested in quiet than nutrition at this point let the naughty little ones have them. Not just one bag, two bags and then a cookie! I did make Katie drink her milk though, yaaaaaaaaaay me!

After being subjected to puppy-dog-eyes and earnest pleading I break down completely and let them watch "Dragon Tales" which doesn't have anything bad about it except the show gets on my nerves... a lot! To solve this I leave the room and print off things for Katie's lessons in school. I assume the program is over when I hear screaming coming from downstairs that went like this: "MOOOOOOOMMYYYYYYYY! ABBY HAS MY SNOWMAN AND SHE IS NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE IT BECAUSE HE HAS A RED LETTER ON HIS TUMMY AND SHE KNOWS THE RED LETTER ONES ARE MIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHH! AAAABBYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!"

After taking a moment to sob quietly I run downstairs tell Katie to share and find out that the "A is Abby's letter because Abby starts with A but its red not blue and Abby has the blue letters not red and besides I need it to make my name so the snowman really is Katie Rose's not Abby's so-" at this point I cut Katie off and because again I just want quiet I find Abby a snowman with a blue D which is "daddy's letter" so it becomes special and thus satisfies her need for a special letter. I suppose I could have just scooped up all the snowmen and put them out of reach... O well.

Right now the girls are playing with my bedroom door, something they are not allowed to do. I could let them learn the hard way why this is a rule or I could be a more gracious mommy and remove them from the finger-pinching situation. I am sooooooooo tired I'm about to keel over onto the keyboard but you know I guess I love them or something because I'm going to make them stop. Or maybe I don't want to deal with sobbing, bruised fingers, and band-aides if I don't stop them...hmmmmm...where are all the gypsies when you need them?! I'm sure I could make a wonderful profit on our girls cuteness.

Oh joy! It's Abby's nap time! But as you know this means really nothing except the house will be a little quieter. Oh and nap time means school time at our house. I hope I can find all the snowmen. Or maybe we'll have a holiday and she can just make words by herself with the lettered snowmen while I pass out on the couch...or I could pop in "Wall-e" and drift off to the sound of clips from "Hello Dolly". Why? BECAUSE I AM SO TIRED I CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT I ATE FOR BREAKFAST!

Okay, I'm done complaining now...I know my babies are completely worth it, I mean just look at them!

Seeing their little smiles and twinkling eyes makes it all worth it, especially when dressed up like cute monkey princesses and ladybugs. :) I may be sleep deprived and half crazy but I do love my little ones and can hardly wait for the third one to join the craziness! Now to go find that Wall-E dvd...

Kickin' Back!

2009-01-17T11:13:00.003-05:00

Yesterday I had an appointment with my OBGYN. The visit was went wonderfully! When the doctor put the microphone thingy on my tummy to get the heartbeat Baby Pumpkin took personal issue with it and started kicking! He/she kicked so hard the instrument bounced right of my stomach! The baby's heartbeat was good and strong and of course he/she was very responsive to outside stimuli which is a very good sign. :)

I thought I had imagined half of the "kicks" I felt but now I think most of them must have been the baby. It is incredibly easy to get little Pumpkin started! All I have to do is lie down and put my hand on my lower stomach and off he/she goes! Last night Joel felt Pumpkin kick for the first time! Aren't babies fun?!

During our trip to MI the baby would kick along the seat belt until I repositioned it and whenever I lay on my left side the little one kicks the mattress for all he/she is worth! I think we might have a little soccer player in there!

The "he/she" thing is getting kind of old so you'll be happy to hear I have an ultrasound scheduled for February 3rd where (God willing!) we'll find out if the baby is a boy or girl and then I'll be able to use the appropriate gender! Yay! Last night we were at the mall looking for dress pants for Joel and I saw the sweetest baby outfits! I had to resist buying any even though there were some really cute yellow ducky outfits! I suppose I can wait two and a half weeks before buying anything, maybe!

So that was my happy news...Baby Pumpkin is healthy and strong and having fun kickin' back!