Friday, March 12, 2010

Slower Would be Better!

It's hard to find time to do everything you want to do. I have at least one hundred things I plan to do everyday, from the necessary like washing dishes, to the fun like taking the kids on a walk, to the just for me like working on a puzzle. But time goes so fast that by the time the kids are in bed sleeping the day is over and most of what I meant to do remains undone. My girls have begun to feel the passing of time and comment at the end of the day whether or not that day had been long or short, usually they conclude it was very short and I agree.How often do we hear or think, "Where did the time go?"

Wasn't it just yesterday that my baby was only 2 weeks old and small enough to be in a bassinet bundled in a receiving blanket?When did he get to be 8 months? Did I fall asleep for a couple months? I think I just blinked and there he was big enough to be sleeping in a crib, sitting up, scooting, and babbling!A few days ago when I was doing school with the girls I found a stash of Christmas projects in the craft bin I had meant to do with them. They had waited for almost 3 months for those particular projects to be on sale at Hobby Lobby and were so excited when they finally were and I had forgotten to let them make them! There just hadn't been enough time!

I have dozens of projects planned for almost everyone I know but there doesn't seem to be enough time to finish the ones I've already started! This year I want to make the girls quilts to fit their big girl beds and Christmas quilts and of course there's Erik's quilt that Joel designed and the original pattern I designed for him as well and...the list goes on and on and there doesn't seem to be enough days in the year to get it all in!

I know in a few years when the kids are older and there are no more diapers to change I'll have more time on my hands. I know that someday they will be gone, busy with their own lives and there will be stretches of weeks, even months when I won't see them and then it'll feel like I have too much time. That thought makes my heart ache and I don't want more time like that. What I want is to only need 4 hours of sleep instead of 8, think of how much I could get done with four extra hours in a day! I don't want to rush through my children's childhood, I just want time to slow down...the days to be longer.

I blinked and Erik is 8 months...if I blink again will he be 5? Just yesterday my little girls were pretending they were ice skaters performing at the Olympics; if I blink twice will Katie be getting married? Will Abby be starting off for college? What can the solution be? Put bricks on their heads and sew my eyes open and use lots of eye drops, or hook myself up to an IV filled with caffinated energy drinks? Probably not! I just need for a minute to hold more than 60 seconds, that's all!

I know there are other women out there who feel this particular pain! We can never do enough to truly satisfy that longing to give our children that beautiful childhood we want too. There are so many things we meant to do to show we love them, to make their days special. We feel the days slipping by, we see our children getting older and our arms ache to hold our babies for a just a little longer. We beg time to slow down so we can live in that moment for as long as our hearts want us to. While we really wouldn't want our babies to remain babies forever we do wish the sweet moments at least would last a little longer.

Motherhood's Time

Slow the sun up in the sky,

So this time won't pass me by!

Take the night and make it long,

So I might sing them one more song.


For time is passing much to fast

And childhood it does not last.

The bud will bloom and birds will fly

And soon my baby will say good bye!

Oh time take up your hour glass

And do not let the sand grains pass.

Make this moment last a day

So in my arms my child can stay.


Dad K said...

Hi Little Girl -- Yes, time and childhood do seem to fly by!!! Enjoy the moments you can as they become wonderful memories when you get older (like me - LOL)!! The kids are beautiful and we miss them and both you and Joel a lot!! Keep the entries coming - we love them!!

Carrie said...

Aw, I feel the same way right now - I'm kind of having a crisis b/c Natalie will be 3 months next Monday, and she was JUST BORN THE OTHER DAY!!! How can it be March already??? Loved the poem & thoughts you shared!!!