Saturday, August 8, 2009

The Days of Great Burning and Spillage!

The past few days have been a little crazy here in Karen-land. It started out with Fish sticks. I know, weird intro but it really did. As I was dishing out fish sticks for dinner proud of myself for fixing a main dish, veggie, and starchy side I knocked the baking sheet against the inside of my forearm. It hurt but I do that all the time so I didn't think much of it. I ran it under cold water for a minute and sat down to eat. It kept hurting though past my normal burnt arm time and it got worse but I ignored because there was Mommy stuff to be done. At bedtime, I was horrified to see that the faint red mark had turned into a 2 inch blistered oval-yikes! I guess my other scars were lonely and wanted company or something. That was the first burn incident.

Around 4 o'clock in the morning when I stumbled out of bed to feed my son I heard loud thumping noises coming from the porch which could only mean one thing-raccoons! The house we are currently staying in is in the country and the coons love to come out at night and frisk about in our garbage. We have a "locking" (ha!) lid on our trash can and I think they take that as a personal challenge. Now Joel had already chased away these raccoons right before bed by deluging the big one with left over warm water used to heat Erik's bottle but the big one had returned, I could tell because he was still pretty wet! I chased them away, fed my son, and went back to bed. As I curled up to go to sleep I heard the thumping again but figured it just wasn't worth it, as I was warm, comfy, and half asleep.

The next morning I peaked out on the porch to see what damage the coons had done. When I saw the carnage I actually screamed, I really didn't think two raccoons could do so much damage! Our lovely "locking" trash can was tipped down the stairs and garbage was spilled across the steps and yard. I had left small garbage cans half filled with bleach soaking on the porch and they had spilled those too. The splatters of bleached wood made it look like some violent crime had been committed on our front porch! I figured the only way to salvage the porch was to try and bleach the rest of it too, it looked that bad! That was spill incident #1.

So I got dressed, dumped the rest of the bleach on the porch (which is by the way about 15 ft x 5ft) and swept it around with a broom. I didn't have enough bleach to do the whole porch however so it still looked pretty bad (in case anyone is worried about the state of our porch we got more bleach last night and I finished the porch this morning !). I cleaned up the garbage and then filled the small trash cans with pipping hot water to rinse off the bleach. As I heaved the extremely hot water on the porch I realized I had made a painful mistake, the water crashed against the porch wall and came hurtling back toward me and my bare feet. As I hopped around squealing Joel pocked his head out the door to laugh at me, naughty man! That was burn incident #2

Now for burn #3 and spill incident #2! I decided after all the hard work of cleaning the raccoons mess up I deserved a break. I fixed myself a nice hot cup of coffee (can you see where this is going?) and grabbed a cereal bar. As soon as I got settled into the big blue chair that is not ours one of the girls called me so I hastily placed the mug and bar on the upholstered arm of the big chair and went to help. After I solved the girls dilemma of whose crayon box was whose I went back to the chair and threw myself in it, then I remembered my coffee but it was to late! I heard it go splashing down the side of the chair and cringed, however I didn't feel any pain and my thoughts went like this, "Oh! Well, I was expecting that too hurt really bad, after all that coffee was really- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!"

Yep, you guessed it, I took out the chair that is not ours and my backside. When Joel, who had come to my aide, realized I had managed to not burn any part of me except my behind he burst out into very helpful laughter. Thank you dear, your constant amusement at my self inflicted injuries is very uplifting! :)

That night grandma invited us over for pizza dinner so I decided to shower to make myself presentable (I smelt vaguely of coffee and bleach). After my shower I dried my hair and decided to curl my bangs and so came about burn #4 which is not quite as bad as burn #1 but worse than burn #2 or#3. And yes Joel laughed, a lot.

As I type this I kid you not, I just heard Katie's pipping voice announce that Abby has spilled the trash can that caught the water from the leak in the ceiling, in her room, on the carpet, where we walk. Now you must excuse me while I go clean up spill #4 which will hopefully end the horror of the days of great burning and spillage!

No comments: