Tuesday, July 1, 2008

The Nasty Adventures of the Lactose Intollerant and My New Best Friend!

It all started Sunday night. We had some friends over for dinner and I let the girls stay up late to enjoy their company. I put Abby to bed and ignored her crying because she usually cries for a few minutes every night anyway. About twenty minutes later I took Katie up stairs for bed as well. At the top of the stairs I stopped, I could smell something and it wasn't a good smell either! Then came Abby's little voice,"Mommy, I poopy!". Groan!

I turned on the light and saw that she didn't just "poopy" she had made the carpet a new color by her bed and in font of the gate. Ick! I stepped over the mess, put Katie to bed, and gingerly picked Abby up careful not to let any part of her actually touch me! I assured Katie I would be back in a few minutes to clean up the mess then took Abby directly to the bathroom. I cleaned her up with some paper towels and then put her in a nice, bubbly bath. I went out and apologized to our guests for the smell but they didn't seem to mind. After all they had lived in a dorm for 4 years! They did soon leave though since one of them had to be at work at 6 AM the next day.

After they left the real work began! While Abby soaked I scrubbed out her nightgown and panties. I washed the floor and then the sink. I grabbed the roll of paper towels and a scrubbie sponge and set off for the nightmarish chore of cleaning up an Abby mess that had been brought on by someone feeding her a milk product. Katie was already asleep when I went up, she must have been really tired because she generally refuses to be in a room that Abby has pooped in until it has been entirely cleaned up!

I scrubbed away and tried to think happy thoughts to distract myself. I then stripped Abby's bed and got a load of wash going. Then I washed Abby. I got her all dried off and in new pj's and then it was off to bed again at the late hour of 10:30! Happily she went to sleep right away! unhappily she woke up at 7:00 the next morning! After such a late bedtime I was hoping for at least an 8:30 wake up call!

This was not Abby's first accident and the state of our carpets was starting to distress me. It's one thing to clean up a normal accident but Abby had had milk which meant (I apologize ahead of time to any of you who have weak stomach's or are easily grossed out!) that her bottom had been turned into a brown fountain!

When Joel got home I talked to him about renting a carpet cleaner but we weren't sure we wanted to spend that much money for a one time deal so I let the subject drop. However my mind was quickly changed when Abby decided to let some things of her own "drop" all over her bedroom again! The poor girl could not control her little bowels and the carnage was extreme! After dinner she had three accidents which convinced Joel that we needed to do something drastic!

I looked up carpet cleaners online while Joel decided how much we could spend. After looking at how much it would cost to rent we figured it would be more worth our money just to buy one especially since Abby would probably be making more horrifying messes in the near future! We found a nice one that wasn't too expensive at WalMart and set out.

Abby had an accident on the way there! Fortunately this time it was just #1 so I cleaned her up as best I could and we hurried into WalMart to grab a new outfit for Abby and the carpet cleaner. We found a cheap outfit and new panties quick enough but then came the impossible task of locating the cleaners. Our WalMart had just rearranged the entire store and the employees ran when they saw us coming so we were left to our own devices. Even though the website said they had one in stock at that location they didn't have a single model, just the soap solution! GRRRRR! What is wrong with Wal Mart?!!!

We bought Abby's outfit and a small treat for Katie, who had been on her very best behavior all night and deserved a reward for not adding to Mommy's and Daddy's stress level! We then hastened over to Target after I had put Abby in her new outfit which turned out to be way to big even though I had bought it in a size smaller than she usually wears. I hate WalMart! Do they do things like that on purpose? I can just see the employees in the back rubbing their hands together and laughing maniacally while they plot how to confuse and frustrate their costumers!

Anyway, at Target Abby had to go to the bathroom a couple times while we looked but I was happy she hadn't had any accidents. We located the cleaner we wanted but sadly they were out of that model. However the employee that helped us did not runaway as I approached her but answered my inquiry with a smile! We decided to perhaps get a small carpet cleaner since the big one we wanted wasn't there but while we were looking at them Abby said she had to potty again.

So while Joel and Katie decided on what model of carpet cleaner we should get Abby and I trekked off to the potty for the 4th time since entering Target a half hour before. We got to the bathroom where Abby informed me, "I poopy mommy." in a matter of fact voice. I replied, "I know honey, we're at the potty now so you can go poopy." To which she responded, "No mommy! I poopy in my panties!". I checked and sure enough, she had! I helped her out of her panties and shorts which of course in the process of stepping out of she had stepped squarely in the poo. At this point I kinda just wanted to sit and cry but I hazarded on!

I got her cleaned up (Thank heaven Target had a good drainage system in the floor and an endless supply of sturdy but soft paper towels!) put her on the potty and then began to scrub out her panties. After I had them cleaned up I wrung them out as best as I could and wrapped them in paper towels. Her shorts only had only a small spot on them so I carefully rinsed out the spot. I noticed a bit on the tag so I decided just to rip it off. Mid rip I had this thought, "Hmmm...these aren't the sturdiest of shorts maybe I shouldn't have...oh NO!", the tag came off it left a big hole in its wake! I had a strong desire to scream at this point but instead I just gave a crazy little laugh and plunged on.

I dried the shorts off and put them back on Abby who was very worried about her pantiless state. I assured her we would get a fresh pair as soon as we got home as I put her shirt back on. I was thankful that the Walmart clothes were way big because it covered up the hole the tag had left. So HA Wal Mart! Your attempt to make my life miserable failed! FAILED! HAHAHAHAHAHA! :)

I cleaned up the bathroom then we set out to find Katie and Joel. Joel had picked out a model and after rolling his eyes and sighing over our bathroom adventures we chose a soap solution and made a hasty beat to the check out. Halfway there Abby announced, "I have to potty mommy!". So it was back to the bathroom but fortunately she made it to the toilet this time. We made it out of the store without further incident and I got Abby all buckled into her wet car seat. I had put a small baby quilt on the seat so that she wouldn't be completely soaked by the time we got home.

Halfway home we heard a distressed, "I have to poopy! I poopy! I POOPY!!!" and then sobbing. At this point my reaction was small, after all the car seat already needed to be washed as did the outfit she wore and her own little person, so really she hadn't added to my work much at all! We got home and Joel took in Katie and the new cleaner while I gathered the soiled Abby, car seat, outfit, and quilt. I mopped up Abby and put her in the tub while Joel put Katie to bed. I gave Abby a quick scrubbing and then got her into bed as well then I tackled the laundry. I scrubbed and scrubbed my way through the pile and then sanitized the bathroom. Just as I got done getting the tub to shinning perfection I heard, "I POOPY MOMMY!" from the direction of the stairs. Would the poop never end?!

So I got Abby, cleaned her off, scrubbed her down in her third bath of the day, changed her sheets and put her back to bed. After I got through that batch of icky laundry I made sure I was all clean then I slowly went up the stairs and peeked into the girls room not sure of what horror would greet my eyes. Happily all I saw were two sweet little girls snoozing away in their pretty, albeit stinky room.

I trudged to our room where Joel said how sorry he was I had to deal with so many icky messes. I gave him a small smile then set about folding the regular laundry I had done earlier that day. Then I went downstairs for some cold lemonade, changed the calendar since the next day was a new month, and burst out crying.

I suppose I was merely exhausted from the previous week of VBS and late, late nights not to mention the unending soiled laundry and carpet scrubbing! Anyway, this morning I woke up ready to try out the new carpet cleaner and I was fairly chipper since Joel's alarm hadn't woken me up and the girls were still asleep. I went quietly downstairs, helped Joel get his lunch for work, and then went back to bed since the girls were still sleeping. I had just drifted off when I heard a small Katie voice say, "Mommy, I don't feel good." followed by a small cough, and well, you can guess what happened next!

So I cleaned her up, got her settled on the couch, turned on 'Curious George' and set about gathering her soiled bedclothes. I put her pillow in the wash, and then put Abby on the potty. Fortunately Abby was clean as was her bed! Poor Katie threw up once more and then seemed to feel better and ate a bowl of dry Cheerios while she watched 'Clifford'. I got her pillow in the dryer, started another load of laundry and then got my carpet cleaner out to play with.
Wow, is that thing amazing! I love it! It's a small, hand operated one but it works great! I did the carpet in front of the couch first because that is where Abby has had a few #1 accidents and plus that area always gets extra dirty from every day stuff anyway. I was slightly horrified when the water that got sucked out of the carpet resembled hot chocolate in color and consistency! I was happy it did such a good job though and did the kitchen carpet by the stove next. That water was only slightly yellow. Then it was time for the girls room. I put in the soap solution that is made especially for kitty and doggy messes ( I figured if it could take of doggy poopies surely it could handle Abby ones!) and tackled the girls room.

If I was slightly horrified at the color of the water after the living room carpet was cleaned you can imagine how I felt when after I was done with carpet by Abby's bed and the water was black! Black! I did that area twice just to get it extra clean! Then I did our bedroom carpet where Abby had decorated the floor with markers and Katie had spilt some milk awhile ago. It's shocking when you realize the carpet that you thought was grey turns out to really be light blue!

Abby's made a few messes since then but fortunately they've been in the toilet and Katie seems to be completely recovered. So it turns out Abby's ickies weren't only from milk (I know it was partly due to that because I had given Abby a small piece of cake and the church nursery workers confessed that she had had Cheezits) but also a stomach virus which they probably picked up from Joel who had been sick the weekend before which explains why Abby's reaction was so violent! Yikes! I'm glad I never got sick!

So though I had a nightmarish couple of says I did get a really cool new cleaning toy which makes OCD people like me on cloud nine with happiness! It just might be my new best friend! I can hardly wait for the next mess to clean up!


Anonymous said...

Oh. my. gosh. I don't even know what to say. ICK!

Art Kilmer said...

Wow Poor Abby! Make sure she drinks a lot of water so she doesn't get dehydrated! How can one little bum bum produce so much ickyness?

Laura said...

You're a better mom than me. I would have gotten out the pullups after accident number one.

Enjoy your new toy!