So today as I was fixing the girls lunch my train of thought made me realize anew how strange I might be. I thought perhaps to share with you my thoughts so you could decide for yourself!
As I fixed the girls lunch I had a normal if not a little self-pitying beginning thought of "Wow, wouldn't it be nice to have someone fix me lunch everyday! I could just sit and watch as they made me a peanut butter and jelly or ham sandwich." but then strangeness took over as my thoughts continued. " Hmmm...but then they might cut it wrong, or not cut it at all! Then the sandwich would stare up at me all whole and weird! What if the person did cut it in half but not diagonally!!! That would be horrible! Sandwich's must be cut diagonally! If its not its best just to throw it out to the birds and start over! Well, its best that I just do it myself then!"
While the girls ate I stitched a little on the quilt I'm making for a friend. I'm not sure quite how my thoughts got to this point but I was sadly thinking of how I can't wear flip flops because they give me horrible, painful blisters. I thought about how I gave it an all out try right before I got married and ended up with blisters all along the top of my foot and between my toes. It was so bad that Joel bought me a pair of soft moccasins on our honeymoon so he wouldn't have to carry me piggyback the whole time! That thought led to why I can't where flip flops:I have no space between my big toe and the one next to it.
These thought were relatively normal but then they plunged into what I suppose would be considered odd. I was once again frustrated by the fact that besides the big toe and pinky toe, toes don't have official names like fingers which led to this inner dialog; "Why aren't there names for toes?! There are names for all our fingers! Thumb, index or pointer, middle, ring, and pinky. Of course the thumb really isn't a finger but it still has a name." This led to a rabbit trail. "Why is the thumb not considered a finger? Because its apposable? Why should that matter, poor thing? I bet it wants to be a finger! Who decided it wasn't?! Dork! Hmmm...My pinky is the same size as my thumb! That's funny, I wonder if anyone else's are? Maybe I'll ask Joel when he gets home."
Then back to my original question."Poor toes! Suffering through life with no names! That's it! I'm going to name them! Let's see, Big Toe is fine it is after all big. Hmm...the next toe will be 'ring toe' because that's the toe I like to wear rings on. The next one can just be middle toe, and the next, hmmm...well I can't name it 'ring toe' like the ring finger on my hand because I don't wear rings on it." Here I paused and considered if other people wear rings on that toe or the one I had just designated as ring toe then decided I didn't care. If they wanted it named that then they should have taken the trouble to name toes first! So I continued...
"I suppose third toe will do although it really should be fourth toe since the big toe isn't opposable and is considered to be a toe and not a thumb. It's kinda boring 'fourth toe' but it will do for now. Of course pinky toe can stay 'pinky toe', its cute! Right! So we've got Big Toe, Ring Toe, Middle Toe, Fourth Toe, and Pinky Toe!" That was when some part of me that had been unfulfilled was deeply satisfied and I smiled to myself while I wiggled my now named toes!
So there you have some of my perfectly normal thought lines! At least I think they're normal! However, when I ponder such things out loud I get bemused looks, "You're weird!" comments, and/or laughter.
Whenever Joel asked the question of me "Why are you so odd?" I generally would answer, "Because I was left to myself too much.". I think it might be true. After I gave up trying to tag along with my brothers there was just me to play with. I amused myself by reading, making various crafts, tramping about in the woods and seashore, listening to music (mostly Mozart and Andrew Loyd Weber's Phantom) and singing. When I was little I told myself stories and acted some of them out when no one was looking. I loved overly dramatic stories and fairy tales and adored Disney movies.
When I got a little older (9)I fell in love with poetry and read volumes of it. I took to writing poetry myself when I was 13 and actually got three poems published by the time I took off for college! When I was a teenager I also started writing my stories down on paper though to this day no one but me has read them! I would stay up 'til four in the morning scribbling away until I passed out on my manuscript! A few times I actually woke up at my desk with a piece of paper stuck to my cheek! As a teen I did make some good friends in real life but my best friend was as bad as I was about poetry so we didn't exactly keep each other grounded in reality! After the 4th grade I was mostly schooled at home so I had no peers to check my behavior and was allowed to live in a bubble of make-believe! I might have been as bad as Anne Shirley!
I tell you all this to conclude that if I start pondering out loud why port holes are called port holes since they are not just on the port side of a ship and so forth to keep in my mind I was a strange child so its only natural I should be a slightly strange adult! I like to think I have grown out of most of peculiarities but then I catch myself daydreaming up a particularly dramatic and silly story or as today pondering on why toes don't have names and I become aware of my general oddness. I haven't even touched on my driving need for symmetry or making sure the things I do end on an odd number. My particular favorites are 3,5,9, and 27. However its just greedy to take 27 cookies so I settle for 3! I hate the number 11 even though its odd! Pretentious number! See, there's the weirdness again! I just had too much time on my hands and it led to the deciding of which numbers are nice and of what gender (11 is a boy)!
Wow, I might be weird!