New Year's Resolution

Happy New Year! Here's a picture of me and my girls just after midnight. Katie was REALLY tired and weepy but Abby was pretty perky because she had actually slept during their afternoon nap that day! Both did a pretty good job staying up so late and had lots o' fun!So it's been awhile since I've done anything on this blog! For my first entry in a long while I decided to do a New Resolution's list to get me started again. So here it is! My 2012 New Year's Resolutions!

1. Blog more
2. Loose 10 lbs
3. Complete at least one large quilt project
4. Do not purchase any new fabric for at least 6 months
5. Organize craft area in attic

I think the list is very doable! It mostly focuses on my craft stash because I have a LOT of left over fabric and accessories and I know that I have fabric for at least 2 complete quilt tops sitting up there which is just silly!
I don't quite remember what my resolutions were last year but I know one of the was to lose weight and I'm pretty satisfied with how much I lost last year: 25 lbs! I am almost down to my pre-baby weight and I'm actually pretty excited that I can fit into most of my old clothes and can still breathe! :o)
Last year was full of adventures as I experienced life as a full time pastor's wife and I can say that God truly blesses those who devote themselves to Him! Praying this year will be equally amazing!

Faith and Grace Quilt Fundraiser

A long time ago I went to college and worked with a great gal named Pam. Pam and I've kept in touch over the years and I was delighted to hear her and her husband are trying to adopt two children from Ethiopia. Pam and her husband Nate Maxwell are a wonderful Christian couple with a home full of love to give! So many people talk about adopting but never actually take the steps to do it, I admire their selflessness; I admire their patience!

As I've been following their story on their website http://our-story-of-faith-and-grace.blogspot.com/ and saw all the things they and other people are doing to help raise funds I was burdened to help! Like my sister-in-law Erin I wanted to use a talent to help raise money to bring their babies home. So I thought about what I could do and it wasn't to long before an idea popped into my head; I could make quilts! Not only could I raise money with it but they would have quilts to snuggle up in during the cold winter months of Iowa and know the warmth of those quilts are not just from the fabric that went into them but the love of their parents and the love of people everywhere that put two children's worth above their own.

So today I am offically launching "Faith and Grace Quilts"! I will making two, twin size quilts and if you feel lead to help Pam and Nate bring their children home you can sponsor a block! For a minimum of a $10 donation I will make a quilt block. Each block will feature an appliqued star and no two blocks will be made of the same fabric. On the back of the quilt I will put your name so they know who helped bring them home! All proceeds will go directly to Nate and Pam. As soon as I have enough blocks I will assemble the two quilts and send them and all the money donated to Nate and Pam.

You can send your donation using a PayPal account to karen@5-mitchells.com or you can send a check to Karen Mitchell; 3622 State Route 29 S; Noxen, PA; 18638 and I will send you a thank you card with a picture of the block you sponsored! Mark your payment as "Faith and Grace Fund" and be sure to include your name and address so I can send you a thank you!

If you have any questions you can e-mail me at karen@5-mitchells.com! You can read about Pamand Nate's journey at http://our-story-of-faith-and-grace.blogspot.com/ . Let's help Pam and Nate bring their babies home and wrap them up in quilts of love!

There Once was...

In honour of National Poetry month I give you the first poem I ever wrote. It was an assignment in my fourth grade English class, we were supposed to copy poetry on pretty paper and make a book with the final poem being our own composition. My teacher told us what ending sound we got to use (I got "og") and set out other criteria such as length and subject matter. So here it is folks...

The Dog in the Bog

There once was a dog,
Who tripped over a log
Because of some fog,
And fell into a bog
And met a frog
Whose name was Nog.

Nog liked the dog
Whose name was Pog.
So Pog and Nog,
The dog and frog,
Had tea in the bog.
And the bread did not sog.

The End


Pure GENIUS I tell you! The poem ended there because I had run out of "og" words and I had already cheated and used a couple words twice! I originally had plans for a hog to join their tea party but it just never worked out! As you might be able to tell I had only a vague idea of what a bog was. I remember thinking it was some marshy black squishy ground that you could fall into and where there just might be secret boggy rooms and such.
So go read some poetry (I suggest Whittier) and think deep thoughts since my little poem probably isn't very inspiring! Unless of course you ever get lost in a bog and the thought that you just might trip on a log and end up having a tea party with a very nice frog keeps you going!

Two years
but someitmes it feels like yesterday
Two years
but sometimes it feels like ten
Two years
My child has been in the prescence of God...
And I wonder, What is she doing right now?

I imagine her singing with the other saints around the throne of God. I see her in my minds eye in a beautiful white robe with flowing blonde hair and blue eyes that are happy. After St. Patrick's Day this year I became incredibly grumpy. My loving husband pointed it out and after some poor excuses I finally said, "These next weeks are when our baby was still with us, it is a hard road for me to walk ."

After that I decided to try not to remember so I woudn't become to grumpy or sad but in my dreams I heard a child's voice beg "Do not forget me mommy" and I would weep. One particularly bad day I wrote this:

Shadows

I walk through shadows
And tears blind my eyes
From the grief of my heart ache
That pain that never dies!

The darkness it would take me
But for You by my side
Draw me close, be my Light
In Your arms let me hide!

As a child I need You Father
To clear my eyes of tears
And bear me through the shadows
Taking my grief and fears.

I know You'll not leave me in darkness
For in shadows there is a Light
It shines from You my Father
And leads me through this night.

Still I tried not to dwell on it, to wrap oneself in misery and wear it around like a cloak is wrong. I pushed thoughts of it away refusing to think to far ahead to that day we found out we lost her.

But it seemed as if God had other plans. People I barely knew or knew very well mentioned it to me and though I tried to not show it inwardly I drew back like I had been slapped. I do not talk about my baby casually, not even to my husband and here were people mentioning her in an offhanded manner. How dare they mention her like that! Didn't they realize my baby died within me? Didn't they know I still cry when I hear her name? Didn't they know the date was coming, the day I looked into a screen and saw nothing?

Of course they didn't know, they had no experience like that to even know at all and I kept those thoughts to myself knowing they did not mean to bring me pain. But I wondered, how long Lord? How long would I hurt for my baby ?

I realized in days since that perhaps I was focusig on the wrong thing when I tried not to dwell on what happened. I was trying not to be sad but not replacing it with anything else. Last night I held my Erik when he woke up crying and I rocked and sang to him, "You are my sunshine" for I have always felt God gave me Erik who is like a happy beam of sunshine to help heal my broken heart.The I thought as Erik made me happy because of his smile and happy attitude perhaps I should think of the things that made me happy about our little one while she was with us. Be grateful and joyful for the time that God gave us, the joy it brought and I wrote this

Thank You Father

Thank you for life, You gave me to bear.

Thank you for dreams, that made the days sweet.

Thank you for love, that was mine to share.

Thank you my Father, for giving all this!

Thank you for joy, that comes from despair.

Thank you for hope, that comforts my soul.

And thank you for You and how much you care!

I have tried to focus on the joy and yes it is tinged with sadness and I still cry but I hope I am growing and am starting to look back with a smile at those 12 weeks of my life. These verses in Job have helped me, "For He wounds, but He binds up; He shatters, but His hand heals". God leads us through our lives and sometimes He breaks us for reasons we don't understand but he doesn't leave us in our brokeness.
Psalm 94:17-19 "If the LORD had not been my help, my soul would soon have lived in silence. When I though' "My foot slips," Your steadfast love, O LORD, held me up. When the cares of my heart are many, Your consolations cheer my soul."

Two years but any moment now I might see her and my Lord Who never leaves me and brings me joy, comfort, and help in everything.

Chasin' Rainbows

It was a rainbow kind of day...a prism in the kitchen caught the sun and threw rainbows all over the walls. Erik spotted one and chased it into the hallway!Caught it!You need sunshine to make a rainbow...good thing I have a sunshine boy!

A couple days we went outside to enjoy the nice weather. It might look like Erik is chasin' his sisters...

But if you look closely Abby and Katie are drawing rainbows!Sunshine Boy is always full of smiles for mommy!Time to be on the move again!Where will this next chase lead?Another rainbow?No rainbows but sometimes sidewalks can be fascinating and just plain fun to crawl on especially if you get to crawl over chalk pictures! Two happy days that started with a rainbow chase and ended with creating rainbow pants!

Those were pretty good days!

Slower Would be Better!

It's hard to find time to do everything you want to do. I have at least one hundred things I plan to do everyday, from the necessary like washing dishes, to the fun like taking the kids on a walk, to the just for me like working on a puzzle. But time goes so fast that by the time the kids are in bed sleeping the day is over and most of what I meant to do remains undone. My girls have begun to feel the passing of time and comment at the end of the day whether or not that day had been long or short, usually they conclude it was very short and I agree.How often do we hear or think, "Where did the time go?"

Wasn't it just yesterday that my baby was only 2 weeks old and small enough to be in a bassinet bundled in a receiving blanket?When did he get to be 8 months? Did I fall asleep for a couple months? I think I just blinked and there he was big enough to be sleeping in a crib, sitting up, scooting, and babbling!A few days ago when I was doing school with the girls I found a stash of Christmas projects in the craft bin I had meant to do with them. They had waited for almost 3 months for those particular projects to be on sale at Hobby Lobby and were so excited when they finally were and I had forgotten to let them make them! There just hadn't been enough time!

I have dozens of projects planned for almost everyone I know but there doesn't seem to be enough time to finish the ones I've already started! This year I want to make the girls quilts to fit their big girl beds and Christmas quilts and of course there's Erik's quilt that Joel designed and the original pattern I designed for him as well and...the list goes on and on and there doesn't seem to be enough days in the year to get it all in!

I know in a few years when the kids are older and there are no more diapers to change I'll have more time on my hands. I know that someday they will be gone, busy with their own lives and there will be stretches of weeks, even months when I won't see them and then it'll feel like I have too much time. That thought makes my heart ache and I don't want more time like that. What I want is to only need 4 hours of sleep instead of 8, think of how much I could get done with four extra hours in a day! I don't want to rush through my children's childhood, I just want time to slow down...the days to be longer.

I blinked and Erik is 8 months...if I blink again will he be 5? Just yesterday my little girls were pretending they were ice skaters performing at the Olympics; if I blink twice will Katie be getting married? Will Abby be starting off for college? What can the solution be? Put bricks on their heads and sew my eyes open and use lots of eye drops, or hook myself up to an IV filled with caffinated energy drinks? Probably not! I just need for a minute to hold more than 60 seconds, that's all!

I know there are other women out there who feel this particular pain! We can never do enough to truly satisfy that longing to give our children that beautiful childhood we want too. There are so many things we meant to do to show we love them, to make their days special. We feel the days slipping by, we see our children getting older and our arms ache to hold our babies for a just a little longer. We beg time to slow down so we can live in that moment for as long as our hearts want us to. While we really wouldn't want our babies to remain babies forever we do wish the sweet moments at least would last a little longer.

Motherhood's Time

Slow the sun up in the sky,

So this time won't pass me by!

Take the night and make it long,

So I might sing them one more song.

.

For time is passing much to fast

And childhood it does not last.

The bud will bloom and birds will fly

And soon my baby will say good bye!
.

Oh time take up your hour glass

And do not let the sand grains pass.

Make this moment last a day

So in my arms my child can stay.

School Days

Sometimes Katie asks me questions that I wasn't expecting for a couple more years. When she was 3 1/2 due to her questions we discussed in detail the different aspects of heaven, angels, and the Trinity. After that discussing other subjects hasn't really been as complicated but like today it was still kind of hard!

During this quarter of school I decided that it was time for the girls to learn the proper names of the coins and the dollar so they would stop calling them all quarters or as they pronounce it "torters". So I had them get out their piggy banks and pick out a penny, nickle, dime, quarter and a dollar.

They had fun examining them and discussing the ways they were different then after practicing their proper names and how may "pennies" each one equaled I had them glue their money on to a piece of construction paper; except the dollar, we used sticky tac on that because we wouldn't be able to get the dollar off the paper otherwise and in our house a dollar is still a lot of money!

I had them write the amount each piece of money was worth and as Katie was writing she paused, looked up at me and asked, "Why?" Why are they worth that much money mommy and who decided it?" Abby blissfully colored on trying to make the "baby" 'c' with a stick through it.Have you ever tried to explain Fort Knox and the process of how money came to be to a 5 year old? It's pretty great, I think I said "ummmm" about 2 dozen times as I struggled to think of words she would understand. After processing this she examined the dollar closely and said,"Mommy! This looks like it was made with a stamp!" I was very proud of her at that moment since I hadn't explained exactly how they made dollars just that they did. So we discussed in the next few minutes about the huge stamp presses and special paper that they use to make dollars.

She also posed such questions as, "Why is the dime the smallest if its worth more than the penny and nickle?"and "what are they made of" and of course, "Why is the penny the only copper one?" Oh yes and then she asked why the coins from Canada looked different and who decided how they looked and how much they were worth...hmmm...good question!